¡Special Post!: Top 10 Most Memorable Pizza Experiences of 2010

There has been a lot of buzz on this blog among my many readers about why pizza and its widespread appeal as the food of choice for today's up-and-coming adventurer. Reader "Gary" has raved about pizza being the universal comfort food, and wants to know why.  For me, pizza is not so much a riddle wrapped in an enigma shrouded in mystery, but in fact the perfect food. What may surprise you, probably not nearly as much as it does surprise me, is that I did not take ONE single picture of the many, many pizzas I have eaten in Europe. I can count on one hand the number of times I decided to purchase a whole pizza in Canada, but for some reason it was the one thing keeping me going through the long winter of eastern Europe. Perhaps my words can paint a lovely picture for you.  This list is in no particular order, and does not pertain to the best pizzas, but simply ones that I remember and have left a lasting mark on my continual development as a human being and functioning member of society.  So this one's for you, Gar!

1. Nagorno Karabakh: This was awful. This was the worst pizza experience of my entire life. In fact I am not sure I can include this in a list of pizzas because I think, by definition, this culinary abortion cannot count as pizza. A round, spongy crust, a ketchup base, sliced hot dogs, and rubbery cheese does not a pizza make. This is why I am not recognising your country.
2. Kukes, Albania: omfg, this was the best pizza ever, partly given the circumstances, and partly because it was actually the best pizza ever. The chef had trained in an Italian pizzeria (and all North Americans blindly believe that anything Italian is the best when it comes to food and fashion, if not political or fiscal management). He held up various fresh ingredients from his table (the tables and seats were positioned around his work area) and then put the masterpiece in the wood-fired brick oven right before my very eyes. And after a long day of fleeing Kosovo by foot and dreaming of freedom and euros and pizza and showers and dubbed television, this is exactly what I needed.
3. Tirana, Albania, central park: Thin crust, about 52 inches across, fresh tomato sauce, prosciutto ham, arugula, fresh grated parmesan. If I felt I needed to say more I would. A little bit more expensive so you certainly pay for the privilege of dining with Albania’s elite and the company of a young, Harvard-educated dilettante.
4. Sarajevo, Bosnia: At 7 in the morning when my feet were wet, this equally soggy Quattro Stagioni pizza was not the warmest welcome for me to Bosnia. I had to ask for a touch-up in the brick over, which did cook the dough in the end, but it was memorable in its unmemorableness.
5. Dr Oetker’s Prosciutto. This is the best pizza in existence. These little discs of joy go for $9 in the Canadas but you can dine away for $2 in continental Europe, which is the main driving force behind my decision to live here.
6. Iasi, Romania: THIS WAS SO GOOD. This is exactly why pizza is the greatest food ever, because it actually tastes better cold at 3 am when you have to transfer at Dej Calatori and are waiting for three hours and you knew it would be a good idea to buy a pizza to take with you on the trip and because you got it pour emporter you received a 30% discount. Epic win!
7. Budapest, Hungary: Pizza King needs to watch his crown because it’s quite undeserved. The quality of ingredients-to-cost ratio are way off kilter and if the situation of me barging into their delivery-only establishment in the rain and sitting in their kitchen waiting for them to make me my pizza and hand it to me hadn’t been so comical it wouldn’t have made the list.
8. Tunisia: Comment tu dit “leave it in the oven longer. This isn’t cooked at all!” en francais? This was something I really struggled with for a long time in Tunisia, and it was really hard to make the cheese brown at all because I’m starting to suspect it wasn’t cheese at all.
9. Chisinau, Moldova: Andy’s Pizza. They really, really plug Andy’s Pizza. But here’s the thing I don’t like about Andy’s Pizza: the waiters don’t ‘get’ me. Something I would have left in the comments box (if they had one) was that the waiters should never question my ability to eat two pizzas in one sitting, and should certainly never tell me that I am not allowed to order two. Aside from a dry crust, the ingredients seemed quality enough for this connoisseur.
10. Sarajevo, Bosnia: My second attempt at pizza in BiH, up the hill from the first place, was an absolute success. Thin crust, ham, mushrooms, all for $2 and so good that I returned several times.  They also had beer and couches and let me nap upstairs.  Or at least they didn't know that I napped upstairs.   

Some interesting trends we can deduce from this well-researched list is that the best pizza experiences have been in Albania, which is reason enough to warrant a visit.  The worst, as we are seeing, is in the former Soviet Union, with the notable exception of Moldova, which is no doubt due to its ethnic Romanian status—they are shipwrecked Italians, after all.  Unfortunately, as I noted before, I don’t have pictures to accompany this list but this is what happens when I am so caught up in eating pizza—I completely forget where I am. But I can still remember the taste of each one and much like when I order a pizza, all I really care about is my own happiness in this regard.