I am in Moldova, and the you know what they say about the best way to live it up in the beautiful city of Chisinau: sit in the basement of your hostel and condense 7 months of travel into a blog to make things all the more manageable for you and your friends, which is far less intrusive and attention-demanding than a mass e-mail. It's so true! It's actually April, 2010, but I had to find a way to change the date. You know frustrating backdating paperwork can be. So if you're curious to find out how I got to Moldova, you can continue reading. Otherwise, it's really not that interesting. I'll shall christen this inaugural posting with the start of an email from November 5, 2009:
Before you even bother with this, here are some key points to note before continuing:
1. To understand the context of every e-mail I will send, and everything you will hear, please refer to entry # 120 on www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. In fact, please read #s 19, 20, 47, and 115. I mean, let's face it: I spent the past 5 years reading Marx, Said and Smith. Someone had to do it. I deserve this. Furthermore, after reading these entries, you basically no longer need to read any e-mail I send because everything that will happen to me is covered in those 5 entries.
2. My biggest fears are, in order: having my organs stolen; losing my iPod; losing my camera; being stabbed by a Roma; and not checking to see if there is enough toilet paper until it is too late. In retrospect, if one of these happens, I can assure you that all four will happen at the same time, so if any of you have an eye on one of my plump kidneys, you will probably be able to buy it in Moldova (Afterthoughts: I feel as though now you have to read on because if I am in Moldova now, it's very possibly I'm kidney-shopping).
3. Let's just address the elephant in the room: the world was designed for middle class native English-speakers. When people can't speak English, I'm naturally frustrated and offended. This always ends well.
4. You can unsubscribe at any time.
So, get involved! (Or heed my warnings. Whichever works.)
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