Minsk by the Cloak of Darkness

Once, when I lived in Vancouver, I was in the steam room of the aquatic centre at UBC and some enormous old Russian man was asking me questions about what I studied.  I told him post-Soviet economic reform and transition (because that's totes a thing) and he was asking if I had ever been to the FSU.  Well, in 2008 I had not.  In 2008 I was green as.  He said I would love Ukraine, and that Minsk was a beautiful city.  Minsk, Minsk, Minsk.  Ugh, typically colonial Russian, am I right?  I felt a little bit bad correcting him--but not too bad, you know, because being a student of the Geographies I still have no problem with letting people know I spent $25,000 learning how to point things out on a map and that I'm actually really, really good at it--and when I said, "Actually, it's Kiev" he bellowed, "Oh yes, Kiev!  Minsk is…BYELORUSSIA!"  To this day I am completely incapable of thinking about the White Russia without chortling and bellowing in accidental if reverential mimicry.  

Minsk had its own Glitzy Gal, so I'm not sure what Skopje is going to do about this now. 

Anyway Minsk.  THE be all, end all of Belarus.  It's a lovely, lovely place, though it was nearly impossible to find the hostel I was staying at.  the main issue was that there wasn't really a hostel, I was renting some apartment.  I had the address but the downtown of Minsk is difficult to navigate with all the alleys and archways and honestly with the lack of free wifi I was really having a time.  Everyone in Minsk seemed to be having more fun than me and there is nothing that stresses me out more than carrying a bag and having no idea where I will sleep that night while others have the time of their lives.  It feels me with such anxious resentment.  I finally found a vegan cafe that had wifi and I was able to figure out that the apartment was literally right above where I was sitting.  I was able to ring up, wake up the girl who was supposed to collect the money from me, and then go right to bed to prepare myself for a whirlwind tour of the capital the next day.