Glorious Tractor Factory

So this next day in Belarus was all about Minsk.  I rose early, as usual, and made my way to the TSUM for some coffee, which I regretted because who goes to TSUM for coffee?  Amateur.  So I spent the day trying ti find all the sights of Minsk, which was more difficult than you'd think because the city has not designed itself for tourism, though that's not to suggest it has any rough and tumble areas with particular rustic charm.  Instead, it's a spotless city with even the most polished back alleys.  I spent the morning trying to find a cafe/bar called "Upteka" which of course means "pharmacy" in Russian and was a bar that was decorated like a 1940s pharmacy.  Cool, right?  According to the vague description on the travel website I found when I googled, "cool shit to do in Belarus" but it was near impossible to find when I got to the approximate address and part of me thinks it never existed in the first place.  Like, you know how when you're in Europe and the addresses don't always line up and streets change names mid block and then you're looking for 23 1/B but you can only find 23 2/A and you're like, "OMFG WHERE IS IT???" Well, imagine my delight when I finally saw a huge sign that said, "Upteka" and I was all, "lawl, it was right here the whole time."  When I walked in, however, I was alarmed to discover that it was an actual pharmacy.  

Metro Minsk

Then I went to find the tractor factory!  Belarus tractors are, quite obviously, world famous, and I was excited to see where it all happens.  When I got to the metro station I discovered the Red line was closed.  Normally this sort of thing would annoy people but everyone was very blasé about it and people were laughing and joking with the policeman who was informing them of the problems.  Everyone laughed it off. In my mind I compared this to March, 2010, in Ukraine and a group of militant babas in police garb locking arms and screaming to hold back people trying to get into the metro because the escalators were broken.  Like, actual screaming.  It was on a brink of a riot.  I also had two large militsia men surround me and force me to delete a photo from my camera.  In Minsk I asked if I could take a picture and the guard said, "Yes" but with the kind of body language and inflection that implied, "Yeah, of course you can.  Who am I to tell you what to do?  I'm not your mother."

This girl gets it.

So, tractors.  I finally did make it to the tractor factory and the metro station was shaped like a tractor.  I had a great time walking around the grounds and seeing all the different ties of tractors and medals that they won at world tractor competitions.  World tractor competitions.  I asked security if I could go in and actually look at the tractor works in action, and I was promptly rebuffed.  When I saw the administration building and a bunch of biznezmen in terrible suits emerging from it and getting into limousines one by one.  One man was waiting for his car so I approached and asked, "Excuse me, is there a gift shop?  I'd like to buy a t-shirt that says "Minsk Tractor Factory."  He stared at me blankly for a while, then pointed across the street.  "There is a grocery store. Maybe they have shirts.  I don't know."  They didn't, but needless to say my trip to the tractor factory was a resounding success.  

Traktorski Zavod Metro Station

Umm, I feel like I did more in Minsk…I ate outside the Komarovsky market, which is massive and closed unfortunately.  I also saw a bunch of soldiers goose-stepping and I was taking pictures and a general came to me and yelled (in a fun, friendly way), "No pictures! Come back tomorrow, yes please tomorrow!" and ushered me away.  Then I went to Moloko which is the coolest bar in all of Minsk and I only learned about from reading an article in the Economist about the counterculture movement in Minsk.  Did you know I read the Economist?  I'm so worldly!

Turns out I'm not that into tracksuits after all.