After getting into the GUM at 10am, I realized that you can buy pretty much anything when you're on the border with China. There was a build-your-own-iPhone kiosk, and several other gadget stands that made me realize anything was possible if you knew how to use an iPhone, or what smartphone technology actually is and how it can help your life, or how to get a phone plan (all of which I do not know how to do and refuse to learn because I think it, like the internet, is just a fad). Anyway I bought some batteries, rechargeables, and then took off for a Sunday-Funday of exploring Bishkek's downtown. Unfortunately I could never quite find Bishkek's downtown. It's so spread out and provincial. I really had no idea where I was at all times and had the hardest time locating the centre and no one was particularly interested in helping me in this.
As it started to cloud over and rain loomed on the horizon, I headed for an expensive cafe to spend more money than I normally spend at home on coffee. This is something I live for. At this cafe, which included wifi, I decided to plan out my activities and what I needed to accomplish. First up, visa to Tajikistan. I located the Tajik embassy in south Bishkek that I would visit the following day. The next thing was to figure out what in Bishkek I should actually be concerned with visiting. Is it so wrong of me to have assumed that Bishkek would be an ancient silk road city with winding streets and mud brick palaces and intrigue around every corner? There was so little intrigue. There were just surly locals.
So as you can imagine I spent a great deal of time figuring out how to get out of Bishkek and start my tour de force of the two least-heard-of Stans. My first stop would be Osh, and I went to the bus depot to talk with a few of the marshrutka drivers about the possibility of catching a ride to Osh. Unfortunately there were no buses or marshrutkas, instead I would need to arrange a group taxi and it would cost upwards of $15. Or 15,000 som, I can't remember. In any case it sounded absolutely miserable and I just wanted to get to Tajikistan as soon as possible, so that I could make the long and painful journey back to Bishkek.
For some awful reason I decided not to take a group taxi from Bishkek to Osh. This means missed out on a tonne of things. The cost was something like 1500 som, or $30, or something. Group taxis left from the old bus depot. I felt like this would probably be less than desirable, so for some reason I decided to fly because I was in a rush. I bought a ticket for $45 on the 3pm flight, which arrived by 3:30 or something. The problem with this is that I had to then wait around Bishkek for a whole day and then make my way out to the airport, eat overpriced lagman in a cafe outside of Manas International Airport, and then piling onto the old Soviet bomber of an airplane that lethargically took off and on which I was given a free glass of sugary orange drink, then deal with getting from the Osh airport into Osh. It was at this point I realized how pointless aircraft can be and how I would have much rather just gone by car because it wouldn't have been the first or last uncomfortable car ride I have taken in my life, and it would have provided me with more reference points later in life when someone comments on how awful something was. Well it was no shared taxi ride to Osh, I can tell you that.
It was then up to me to decide how I was going to maximize my time in Bishkek before I was going to hit the ol' dusty trail to Osh and take in all the Ferghana Valley had to offer. I attended the National History Museum which told the take of how the Kyrgyz people, who apparently had their ethnogenesis at the very dawn of time (NOT in the 1920s as a result of an essay by Stalin. Wrong again, Wikipedia), and which chronicled their triumph through history to the current success story they are today. I also spent a lot of time looking for the marshrutka that would take me to the airport for 150 som, and it took so long and was such an arduous task that I was resolved to write about where to find it in detail on my blog so that future generations would be able to stand on the shoulders of giants and not waste their time like I did. Well, I forgot to, and I have since forgotten how to even find this location, so I think we're all just going to have to live with that. Besides, I'm sure things have changed remarkably since then anyway.
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